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New Beginnings :
Bad at being the new girlfriend: Shadow to the ex-wife

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Cooley2here ( member #62939) posted at 11:47 PM on Tuesday, February 4th, 2020

Years ago I dated a guy for a couple of years. To hear him talk you would have thought we were the most romantic people ever. I liked him ok. He thought we were getting married. I could not get him to understand that I did not feel that way. Finally I told him we needed to move on. I am just a normal looking woman but for some crazy reason he thought I was the most wonderful thing ever. Long after I was married he would still call and tell me he loved me. It was not the least bit romantic to me. I never knew what to say. He was married twice and had a long term gf. Finally he got the message. Haven’t heard from him in years.

I think your h is stuck. It sounds like his ex is so over it but she is where I was. How do you tell a person to “get over it”? It feels cruel.

Don’t have much advice for you. I think he needs his head examined.

When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis

posts: 4547   ·   registered: Mar. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8505568
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EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 12:58 PM on Wednesday, February 5th, 2020

I agree Cooley - wonder if this guy has gotten any IC to help him through the stages?

posts: 6977   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2009   ·   location: Pennsylvania
id 8505701
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nekorb ( member #40306) posted at 2:39 AM on Saturday, February 8th, 2020

It's all in my head.

Correct, and that feeling is the red flags beating you back to reality!!

Holy crap, Athena. This guy needs to just move in with his ex and OM and be the pool boy.

I can't even.

Run, girl. Run.

Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman

posts: 5796   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2013
id 8507188
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Jesusismyanchor ( member #58708) posted at 3:01 AM on Saturday, February 8th, 2020

I have a client and thought from the way he talked he had just gotten D. I was actually wondering if it was finalized yet as he was kind of flirty and it pertained to the business at hand. He spoke of her often and very badly. BUT then I found out it has been for like 10 years. Say what? He acts like she is crazy as heck but clearly stays in pretty close contact with her as he knows what is going on in her life in pretty good detail. She calls him and he answers right away. That would be weird!

On the other hand I know a man D about the same amount of time. He does not talk about his ex very much at all unless it comes up in regards to the kids and only then. He does not see her often or know the detail of her life. I don’t think he cares. He only responds to texts about the kids and nothing else.

These 2 guys know each other and the second one said. He doesn’t think the first guy was really over his ex.

Those are two totally different scenarios to me. I don’t think the problem is so much saying someone with an ex but the fact that she is still so seemingly present in his life

Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you hope and a future

posts: 2687   ·   registered: May. 12th, 2017   ·   location: Texas
id 8507201
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