Rumination. It’s a real issue.
Amen
In life in general too, not just affair related. Ruminating about the affair just makes it painfully obvious how much we can stay in our mind.
A minor breakthrough for me came with the realization that as much as I like to say, I hate ruminating about the affair, it was really the most fascinating thing I could think about at any moment. If I let myself I would think about it 24 seven. For sure something inside me didn’t hate it, it loved it! After all, no one‘s holding a gun to my head telling me to think about it. It’s all on me.
With that, I got in the habit of shifting my attention from whatever it was I was going to ruminate about, into the question of just why the heck I want to ruminate about that. Why am I ruminating about it? I’ve already thought about it 1000 times previously. WTF?
Now that is a deep question, and it really goes into just what the heck is going on in our minds and just who we are. To the extent that someone can figure that out, they will have greatly deepened their knowledge, they will have grown.
DDay 1986: R'd, it was hard, hard work.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?"
― Mary Oliver
