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My wife and I were discussing what my expectitions are and will be in the future. We’re about a year out from dday. One of the things I expect once we have reconciled is sex. I haven’t made any demands for sex. I specifically said that I don’t expect sex any time soon. I know this is a long process and I wouldn’t expect sex for at least another year. I do at some point expect our relationship to become sexual again however. If she doesn’t intend to ever have sex with me ever again that is a problem for me and I don’t think we can have a mutually fulfilling relationship if that is the case. I have not made any demands on frequency or when this would begin to occur. Just for context I was overly sexually demanding on my wife and my hypersexuality and sex addiction was absolutely part of my infidelity. My wife previously felt pushed to have sex with me. I am in IC now and am not sexually acting out now. No porn, masturbation, or sexual activity unless my wife is involved now. Here’s my question, does my eventual expectation of sex constitute a threat in your opinion? The threat implied is that my wife feels that I am threatening divorce. I was a liar and didn’t make my expectations clear before. I need to be sure not to make that mistake ever again and making expectations clear is super important. Thanks.

[This message edited by Regretfulbetrayer at 3:13 AM, Thursday, April 2nd]

I am a WW. I do not see sex as a "threat"....I am not sure I'd use the word "sex" as a descriptor. My impression is that you believe a marriage should have intimacy, and I would agree with that. Do not know the details of your history, but a timetable on when does seem like a threat. One thing I learned is that reconciliation requires healing. My BH and I never really talked about intimacy, it happened frankly when he was ready. I wanted to remain in my marriage, so I waited until he was ready. It takes time.