SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Before I married my STBX I used dating apps. It was kind of fun. I wasn't looking for anything serious so maybe that helped me have fun with it. Otherwise, I could see where it might be disappointing. I'd treat as practice dating.

Big caveat - I did meet my STBX on Tinder.

Big caveat - I did meet my STBX on Tinder

Thats like an anti-endorsement of the site lol.

I do sometimes hear of people forming meaningfull relationships through tinder, but it sounds like that's an exception and not the rule.

Excellent post by Cheatee. (I automatically skipped any man with a fish photo. Which, eliminated 99% of men in my area.) You want to be different, while being yourself.

I made a point of stating "If you are looking for your other half/soulmate, don't contact me. I'm only interested in dating whole people. Thanks!" Photos: I had one full length selfie in a tank and yoga pants, with a recent date for truth in advertising, lol. The rest were photos of me "doing stuff," like hiking, paddle boarding, etc. That's who I am. I clean up nicely, but am not afraid to get dirty either. I made a fake man profile so I could check out local women. They all had the same photos. Late nights with their girlfriends in heels holding a martini glass. Nights out are fun, but jeez, any other interests? If you are looking for more than a fling, have more interesting photos.

SO told me the other night that my profile stood out because I was one of very few that did not have a photo of me in heels and a tight dress stepping onto a corporate jet. (Umm, what? This is a thing?? Lol. Yes it is, he affirmed. Snooty fake pretentious gold diggers need not apply!!). I told him his lack of fish photo was key.

Just be yourself. Let your photos reflect the interest you want. Let your words be strong, but friendly. If you can't write a profile without sounding angry (me for a looong time, so I waited), or lonely/needy, you aren't ready. And you will attract jerks.

Keep us posted. I love reading about SI folks dating adventures. There is fun to be had out there!!

WhoTheBleep said:

I made a fake man profile so I could check out local women. They all had the same photos.

OMG, I did the same thing, but with a woman's profile, just to see the market I was competing against. What an ego boost! I got an instant platinum status by not living in my mother's basement and by using grammar.

[This message edited by Cheatee at 7:43 PM, January 15th (Wednesday)]

Cheatee!! I demanded proper grammar (in a friendly way) in my profile!!

Like I said, we have to be ourselves, and grammar is important to me.

Thats like an anti-endorsement of the site lol.

ha ha

Similarly, I had the opportunity to take a look at a local man’s profile to checkout the competition. His profile stated the he had a PhD and he wrote that his favorite place to “hangout” was a museum, but he misspelled the words favorite and museum. Lol!

I get comments from women on OLD who I’ve texted and spoken with over the phone that I’m normal, well spoken and can write coherently. My local competition must present a fairly low bar. When I responded that I considered “normal” to be a euphemism for boring, I was emphatically told that no, normal was a highly desired and elusive trait. Lol!

[This message edited by Alonelyagain at 6:05 AM, January 17th (Friday)]

So you're saying I shouldn't go to Tesla and Ferrari dealerships and just take photos of me doing the Slav squat next to them to fill my OLD profile whenever I try that out?

Abandoned guy, I for one could appreciate the irony and would totally swipe right 😂

My close friend is getting married to someone he met on Tinder. I don't know the probability of success with these dating apps, but I'm glad it worked well for him.

A friend is recruiting me to join MeetUp. It's not a dating app, but it is for meeting people with same interests. It's like joining a club - travel, books, science or whatever there is. Maybe start with this?

I think expectations on Tinder are different by age group:

20s/30s hook up.

40s/50s dating, not just hook up.

60s/70s in home health care.

I get comments from women on OLD who I’ve texted and spoken with over the phone that I’m normal, well spoken and can write coherently.

Shouldn't that be "comments from women on OLD whom I've texted...?"

Yes, but no woman wants to date a guy who correctly uses “whom”, more of a turnoff than a picture with a fish! Lol

[This message edited by Alonelyagain at 7:32 AM, January 19th (Sunday)]