SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Suspected cheating, gut instinct and certain behaviours I spotted. Then a friend caught him in a lie and found some stuff online and it all blew up, massive fight with him gaslighting me like mad! For once I didn’t fall for it, stood my ground and called him out. He apologised and seemed to confess and be honest about what had gone on - sexting and sending dirty pics to at least 2 people.

Cut to a few weeks later behaviours creep in again, I feel like something ain’t right and I’ve really had enough and ditch him. I won’t let him gaslight me again, then I hit a low point for other reasons and stupidly let him back in, loads of talking, he proves to me that this time he’s been totally honest and shows me everything

Well guess what! I’ve discovered more.

I am sick of being an idiot! I want to know the truth but it’s hard to find out.

I know it’s not the point but I need to know! I need to know the whole story, not bits and pieces I need closure.

I need to know exactly how many, what’s gone on, how long for and when and I don’t know how.

Can anyone help? And yea I know I should walk away but I am majorly ticked off and want to nail him on this - no maybes no uncertainty I need to know once and for all

Not married? Run. He failed the boyfriend test. Sorry, I know the feeling so well.

Welcome to SI and I'm sorry that he's put you through this. In the JFO (Just Found Out) forum, there are some posts pinned to the top that we encourage new members to read. Also, there are some posts that aren't pinned but have bull's eye icons that are good resources, but you may need to scroll to find them. The Healing Library is at the top of the site and is another spot with some great resources.

If you can, IC (individual counseling) with a trauma-informed counselor can be helpful. If you have problems with depression or sleeping, you may wish to visit your doctor for some meds. If there's a possibility that he's had a PA (physical affair), you may want to be tested for STDs/STIs.

He's shown you that he's a liar, so you probably wouldn't tell you the truth anyway. You may never know how many, and if he's been doing stuff on-line, he may not even remember them all. And he may not even care if you try to nail him on it. Some people just don't care because they're the one that is fine and everybody else is the problem.

Thanks for replies. I’m furious hurt confused I want the truth and I’m scared I’m never gonna know! How can I find the truth?