SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Yesterday he texted her in front of me to prove he was ending it. Her response said so much, "wow, I thought you were different, good luck". Promised
To keep the thread open so I can see the communication. (I’m aware he can communicate otherwise) deleted her from his social media. Thanked me for taking his keys. Said he’s not drinking anymore. Said he’d go to counseling. Admitted to the word "affair". Said he wants to fight for us. Said my actions didn’t cause this, he did it. All things I needed to hear, yes.
Resolve isn’t here,
but maybe there’s a tiny crack in the door?

Idk.

All good signs so yes maybe there is hope. When he is still doing the same things one year from now there can be a little more hope. 2 years from now, a little more

It takes years just to get over the shell shock of infidelity and years beyond that to very slowly rebuild trust

All you can do is observe what he does. Actions speak louder than words, and that's general advice for anyone in this position. Based on what you've said in your other threads I'm not so sure you can believe a word he says. Him texting her in front of you looks positive, but how did he word it? Was it half hearted? Did he leave any wiggle room? Did he block her? Are you sure he's not planning to take it further underground? Could he have had a side conversation with her letting her know not to take his text seriously? If I recall correctly he wasn't even willing to tell you who she is, and you had to dig to find out.

Frankly, I'm dubious of his sincerity.

Saying all the right things? CHECK.
Would I believe him without seeing long lasting evidence with his actions? NOT A CHANCE.

The light switch that turns the desire for their affair partners off doesn't exist. Like it or not, there are threads woven between your husband and the woman he betrayed you for, and they don't just magically cut off.

Ugh I hate the discovery phase so much. I'll be praying for you.

The discovery phase is like sitting on pins and needles.

You think you can get comfortable in one position for even a minute, and then another poke...and another.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this again, and again. I've been discovering more as things have progressed in my situation, and I can't agree with the other posters here enough, words are one thing but actions speak much louder. Observe their behavior, and get the information you need to make informed decisions for yourself.

Fingers crossed for you, and hope things end up in a way that you feel safe and protected.

Marriage counseling set up for next Monday. He requested it as soon as possible. During 1 extremely bad day, lots of heated words, he went for a beer, but bypassed it. I told him these days would come. He said he could handle it. He almost didn’t.
I’m staying very busy. Focusing on healthy habits. I think. I’m sleeping and eating again. I guess that’s progress.

Be careful with marriage counseling this early on. Some of them have a way of blaming the marriage for a wayward spouse's decisions, which in turn comes off as partially blaming you for decisions he made.

Don't accept that. As a general rule we usually suggest individual counseling for the both of you. Him to figure out what's broken in him, and a trauma counselor for you. Then marriage counseling later down the road after you've both done some healing and are ready to really work on the marriage. Marriage counseling so soon after infidelity can be twisted into a tool used to make a betrayed spouse feel very bad and take responsibility for decisions that were beyond their control.

I second the suggestion that you hold off on MC. MC's tend to focus on putting the affair behind you and moving on and building a brand new shiny sparkly relationship :/ I made this mistake because I thought that's what we needed and I had not found SI yet

Until he finds/fixes whatever is missing/broken in him the chances of R working is slim. I also suggest finding a good trauma IC for yourself. Infidelity is in my opinion one of the worst traumas somebody can deal with

Several months down the road if he stays consistent with his IC and he doesn't F' up again and there's no trickle truth and you are in a better place working with your IC and you want to work on trying to repair the relationship then find an MC

From what I have learned it takes years just to get over the infidelity and years beyond that to repair Trust. And you control the timeline, not him. You establish the boundaries the rules what he can and cannot do and it's his choice to either except this or the relationship ends